I'm thirteen years old looking in the mirror at my awkwardly shaped body, wondering if anyone else thinks it looks as awkward as I do. I'm seventeen, and worried that I'm not smart enough to get into a good college. I'm twenty one, fresh out of college and you're 20-30lbs heavier than I was in high school...I wonder what my high school friends will think of me now. I'm 30, a new mom, and I feel uncomfortable in your own body. "Will I EVER get my body back?".

So many of us, especially woman, go on an on about how everyone else has it better. How we could be prettier, smarter, have a better job, be in a better place at our age.  We envy other women for what they have and wish we could have it ourselves. What if, just for a moment, we stopped all of that.  What if I asked you to take a step outside of your body for a moment and actually meet YOURSELF!  I bet you'd find that you have a LOT more to offer than you admit to, and I'm willing to bet that you'd be pretty damn jealous of the person you meet! You'll see that you're gutsy, hardworking, strong, motivated, compassionate, lovable...if you could just SEE yourself...you might really like the woman staring back at you.

So, how do we do this? How do we introduce ourselves to...well, ourselves? And, how do we get ourselves to see just how valuable and important we actually are?

By building self confidence.

Self confidence is a personal journey.  We all take different paths to find our self confidence, but ultimately we all share one common goal.  There are NO right or wrong ways to build self confidence, you simply must find what works for you.

Think of confidence like a mental muscle, and like muscle we're all born with it, but NOT everyone flexes it.  If you want muscles to grow stronger, you have to exercise them, right?  Here are some ways to do that:

- Use positive affirmations: Consciously think positive thoughts as you go about your day.  Say them out loud! Cheesy, I know, but you'd be surprised. Wake up in the morning and say, "I'm AWESOME!" Then laugh at yourself a little (because it will seem awkward and silly at first), BUT you'll find that exercising your mental muscle each day with positive affirmations becomes second nature to you!

- Listen to upbeat music: I'll be the first to admit that I'm not exactly the most musically inclined person. I like music, but I wouldn't be able to tell you the name of the band playing a song that I'm humming along to...I just don't keep up with that stuff..haha. What I do know about music, though, is that when I'm feeling badly, it can really help to turn my mood around.

- Exercise: LITERALLY! Get out for a walk, or a run to enjoy the fresh air. Enroll in a workout program at your gym, or better yet in the comfort of your own home (I can hook you up!).  Exercise releases all sorts of hormones and feel good stuff to turn that frown upside down! It's amazing how your mindset can change after a quick 30 minute workout!

- Eat healthy: Like exercise, a balanced, healthy diet can help with boosting your confidence because it naturally makes you feel good! You're also decreasing risks of anxiety, depression, chronic diseases, etc. just by eating right (and exercising).  So, load up on those fruits and veggies (and let me know if you'd like some tools on what a balanced diet should look like).

As you exercise your mental muscles to help boost self-confidence, you should also be creating a list (mental or physical - whatever works best) of all of your GOOD qualities.  What are you good at? If you don't know, FIND OUT! Take an art class, start a workout program, try pottery making, gardening, cooking, etc.  Pick up on a passion, and nurture it.  Having a hobby, and making time FOR YOU can really help you to become more confident.  If you're still have trouble finding that time, check out this book I read called, The Fringe Hours, by Jessica A. Turner.  It's all about finding those little pockets of time through the cracks of your day that are all yours (you just have to find them!).

Another important thing to remember is that you need to STOP obsessing over the CAN NOT'S, and start focusing on the "What can's" - What can I do to improve myself? How can I be a better version of myself? What can I do to be more positive? How can I show up in this world as a healthier, happier person?

Lastly, as you're finding your confidence again, pass on your wisdom and gifts to others! THIS, my friends, is one of the main reasons why I decided to become a Wellness Coach. I SHARE my experiences with other woman, and help them to build their self confidence again the only way that I know how.

So, go ahead...introduce yourself to yourself. 

You're thirteen years old looking in the mirror at your awkwardly shaped body and thinking "I love my body - one day it's going to be strong and help me get through a half marathon". You're seventeen, and excited for the opportunities that are ahead of you. You can do anything you set your mind to. You're twenty one, fresh out of college and you're 20-30lbs heavier than you were in high school. You greet your friends with open arms and catch up on the years you've missed with each other.  Maybe you all poke fun at how that "freshman 15 turned into freshman 30 for all of you"! You're 30, a new mom, and you earned your stripes. With a little hard work, and persistence, you know you'll get your body back one of these days.  For now, you're just enjoying the precious moments with your little one.

I'll leave you with this: Confidence is an attitude that only YOU own, and only YOU can control. 

Contact me if you would like me to share more about how I re-gained MY confidence. Or, if you have a passion for instilling confidence in others, especially women, then join my team!